Today is exactly a month since I am managing the house on my own ..... time flies
I have learnt alot especially about my two children ...... but i can definitely say they have grown.
Children adapt very fast to changes in the environment, never under estimate their abilities.
My 6 years old can volunteer to do housework and my two years old can do simple task like switching off the tv, fan and keep his own toy
Caleb has been having someone looking after him since he was 4 months old.
I begin to realise several problems when i am without help, btw its not to say that my helper is not effective but rather she is over protective over my son.
1. Caleb does not know how to behave appropriately in social situations
- having a helper chasing him and satisfying his needs whenever he is out is beneficial for both the mother and the child. However, the child would always think that someone will entertain him or he can entertain himself in doing whatever he wants.
This is very tedious for me as Caleb runs wild whenever we are out eg. market and supermarket. I had to buy a strap to "leash" him so that he has some freedom and me some form of control esp since my hands are full with goceries. I used to think that its "unhumane" to leash a kid but now its the practicality that counts, I do have many curious stares but I really don't care.
2. Till the date my helper left, Caleb has always been fed at his high chair. Meals are served at the high chair with live tv entertainment or toys ......
I have been trying to ask my helper to let him eat himself since he turn 1 but this was never heed, as she is very protective over him. From the helper's perspective, feeding the child is a preferred choice as she needs to clean less (simply wipe the high chair rather than washing the whole thing), get a chance to rest after cooking and play with child for a while.
When Chloe was 9 months, i let her fed herself with all the mess but by 1 year old she has no problem feeding herself at all ......
Now Caleb at 2years is still struggling with feeding. Sometimes when he has snack .... the mess gets much bigger as this rascal can now bring food & mess all over the place
Now that i let him feed himself, the messiness is definitely there. At least within a week, Caleb can put food in his mouth without spilling.
Thinking back, the habit of having tv and toys is really a bad idea .... the child cannot concentrate on his food, not to mention feeding himself since there are so many distractions.
So for now, i will be washing and cleaning till he learns .... sigh!! with a toddler at terrible 2 can be very challenging during mealtime.
At the end of the day. please start self feeding early .....
2a. Meals are served with water as requested by the kid
Yes!! my son kept asking me for water whenever he eats ... something that i do not understand.
This is something that i do not allow as drinking too much water during meal will affect digestion ....
I then realised that that could be his eating habit since i am not giving him his meals.
Took me a while to "wrestle" over drinking water .... sigh!!
So good eating habit needs to be cultivated early!!
3. Caleb will always demand for his needs whenever he sees me
Yes my son can be demanding especially when he gets to see his mummy very little since she is always running errands and sending jie jie. He will never wait .... demanding things - STAT!!
Now that mummy is home bound without help and car, he gets to see mummy more.
Seeing how busy I am, i realised that Caleb has become less demanding and has learnt to play on his own in my presence.
He will run to me a few times to get his milk unlike last time he will throw tantrum immediately!!
I hired a part time help but the day to day cleaning still need to be done .... so far i am managing, at least my kids still have homecooked food with occasional home delivery too!!
Yes i still bake ... that is my therapy!!
At the end of the day, I wish to quote my mum's words “With help, mum benefit but children suffer ..... Without help mum suffers, children benefit" (direct translation from mandarin)
Given a choice, I will do without help, for my children's upbringing and character building will be my priority.